Not Now

Honestly.  One mode: nagging.  That’s all my mom knows how to be.  Since being up (and when I woke up I went straight to the shower then straight to my room, so she caught me in between those segments) my mother’s told me to a) take dad with me on harriet and mine’s bike ride (quite a few times) and b) gave me a dirty look when i asked if she wanted to go to breakfast and c) naggingly questioned, “you’ve finished your benadryll already?”  She may not be trying to be an annoying bitch, but she IS.  Ugh.  Infuriating, she wrote.

But hey!  What to say, what to say…

Yesterday was amazing.  I hung with Harriet for a while at school before her game where we managed to talk with Amy & Dave and Lauren & Danny.  Talking/hanging with other couples is fun.  You can ask things like, “so what are you TWO doing this weekend?” or “how’re things going with the both of you?”  I dunno.  I enjoy it.  Then I came home to nobody being home so I did the first natural thing that came to mind: I drummed.  Then I took a very short nap, read my awesome book, then just milled around until Harriet showed up around 7:30.  From there we hung until 10:30 and it was great.  A much needed night, I do say.

I also wrote a great new song.  The beginning is reminiscent of the Great Fairy Fountain from Zelda: OOT (and no one is complaining about that) and then it just launches into this really happy tune I’m excited to record.  I hear some great drum work coming from it…

So like, last week I wrote this song called Tripwire.  And like… it scared me.  From Saturday until Tuesday? I refused to touch a guitar/write any music.  I felt intimidated by it!  Could I really write sometihng that will surpass this?  It was just perfect.  Weird chords, delay pedal, sweet drums, inspiring beat, pretty parts.  It has everything in a song that embodies my sound.  I even told Harriet and Vicky, “I think I’m done writing music for a while…”  But Monday came and Jason showed me this bad ass disco tune with the coolest bass line.  It was so fun and enjoyable, I couldn’t help but commit it to memory.  Then Tuesday (or Wednesday, i dont remember) I went ahead and wrote my own drums/guitar parts to this bass line/arranged it my own way and wrote a tune called Dance With Me.  It’s fucking disco punk, yo.  It was so happy, simple, and straight up awesome.  It’s not better than Tripwire… but it’s on par with it.  It’s different in its own amazing way.  So that’s when I realized… no.  Tripwire wasn’t a fluke.  Nor was it the apex of my songwriting.  Tripwire is just an example of what I’m capable of.  Since Tripwire I’ve written Dance With Me and I’m writing this new song right now called Transparent Veil.  What made me especially happy with Tripwire and Dance With Me were how they caught allen’s attention.  I don’t think Allen’s ever listened to sometihng of my own out of his own will and gone, “Dude, I love those.”  Like, I’ve told him, “Hey, listen to this,” and he may really like it..  But I didn’t tell him about Tripwire or Dance With Me.  He listened to those on his own and said, “I love these.  I even wrote vocals for them.”  So getting that kind of recognition from my bandmate meant so much. 

I’m just in a really great mood.  I also tried really hard in school yesterday and it felt great.  I dominated all over my cinema test and was so prepared for America Since 1945.  My Spanish quiz also went really well too, I think.  Maybe I should try harder?  Maybe I should have tried harder since freshman year? 

The problem I have with trying to regret not trying harder is that if I’d tried harder… would I have neglected my music?  Would I have neglected the relationships in my life?  Example: if I tried so much harder in school I probably never would have recorded nearly as many songs as I have and by recording them learned an ass ton about music, writing, and recording.  Example: if I tried harder in school would I have spent so much time with Harriet on school days, thus building our relationship to heights we can’t even comprehend?  So… trying harder wouldda been cool, I guess.  Couldda gotten a bunch more scholarships and maybe even taken a different track in life educationally…  But eh.  That’s overrated.  I love where I am.  While excelling at school feels great and all… this be better. 

I’ve been highly eloquent and philosophical as of late.  Really it’s the way it should be.  I used to be dispensing nuggets of wisdom left and right then it kinda fell away…  I stopped being philosophical and even reached a point where expressing myself was difficult.  But now I’m totally back on track, grasping all that’s in my head wonderfully.

I’m listening to Queen now.  This feels good.  Cuz… it’s a feel-good song.  Don’t Stop Me Now.  Word up.

Alrighty, might as well grab something to eat since I’m absolutely STARVING.

Today will be wonderful.  Again, seeing Harriet.  Going for a bike ride.  Can’t wait.