September 26, 2008 at 8:36 am (Uncategorized)
It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything decent… and today’s my first partial day-off in a very long time… and dad always told me to try and log my life (as I will begin to forget it)… so I guess I’ll try writing right now! I can’t promise how long I’ll last (I’d love for my lover to read that lovely line), but I’ll give it a shot here.
So life is really different for me. YET AGAIN. I swear, there are only two things constant in my life: the music I make and Harriet. Everything else is in constant flux. It’s kind of annoying… but kinda “eh”… I’m happy with my life this way.
The biggest change are my friends. I’m pretty sure after I left last weekend I was just abandoned. The whole group I’d been with for the past month or so have yet to talk to me or call me once since I’ve returned. Which is fiiiine. I’ve already found another group!
Ugh, and here we go. Noo desire to write.
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September 18, 2008 at 11:04 am (emotions)
Tags: appastar, life, music, par-t-rex, RTA
Well shit it’s been a long time! Since my last update loads and loads and LOADS of stuff has happened. Am I gonna explain it all? Psh, doubtful! I dunno, blogging’s not really my thing anymore. I haven’t got the time to do so. I rarely go on AIM.. in fact, I just don’t go on AIM. I don’t use xanga or here or myspace. I barely use Facebook… I really am just so preoccupied with other stuff that the online communication realm just doesn’t interest me. It’s mostly because if I’m not sitting here on Skype with Harriet, I’m out doing something else or I’m recording or I’m doing homework. The actual time to sit down and want to blog or do anything on the internet just isn’t there (nor is the desire). But enough about tha.t..
I’m only blogging here today because I’ve got time to kill (I would utilize my time to watch one of my netflix movies, but the xbox is GONE! daniel took it to someoen else’s room. it’s kinda pissing me off because i want it here.. it is MINE… but whatever). Hah.. yeah. I’ve got an hour to kill. Yay.
But anyways. What to say…
Appastar is broken up. I said goodbye then watched as the domino effect befell the band with us dismembering completely. I thought all was fine though- I quit Appastar mostly because I wanted to do Par-T-Rex with mike and Chris AND so I could focus on RTA if Appa wasn’t gonna go anywhere… but thenlast night I got kicked out of Mike’s band because I’m in RTA and I need to “stick to one band” which is total bullshit. I held down Apollos Dream, Appastar, and RTA all at once and all of them flourished incredibly. While in all these bands RTA became what it is today… Apollo’s Dream produced a fucking amazing album and played a nice handful of shows… and Appastar reached its apex, for sure. Now Appastar’s gone, I’m told I can’t be in Par-T-Rex, and I’m left with only RTA. I’m honestly a bit pissed right now because that’s what I wanna fucking DO with my life. I wanna play so much music yet I’m being told I can’t handle it by people who aren’t even in bands at the moment… THey’re stuck in limbo talking about being a band. Whatever. If they don’t want me, they don’t have to have me. I’ll just put even more effort into RTA.
Mmm.. whatever. Fuck this, I’ma go.
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September 6, 2008 at 8:18 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: college, headphones
I feel rather lost at the moment. I feel like I’m not where I should be. The most comfortable I’ve felt recently was either sitting in my Audio Production 1 class or sitting here listening to music while talking to Harriet. It just goes to show that really what I’ve held onto dearly so long is never going to change, no matter how much changes around. I don’t feel any different at college. I feel like everything I’ve said I was going to do and all the plans along with them are just going as scheduled. It’s a really nice feeling.
I’m a little down about my appearance at the moment. Not too keen on my acne or my flabby stomach or my haircut. But a) I just shouldn’t have eaten that banana split yesterday, b) I’m gonna start working out again once I get some more rest and refuel, and c) charlie assures me my hair will look great once it grows out a bit. I’m gonna trust him on this.
I dunno. Life is hectic right now. I need a day off from everything to regather. Sadly, I won’t be getting it till my weekend with Harriet. I’m stuck doing far too much with music, school, and just… life in general.
Tomorrow I start work. It’s nothing special. I need and want the money, so whatever, right?
There are some things I wanna say here that I probably can’t… too many people read this that I’m afraid of them reading. Thinking I’ll start a new blog… but i dunno.
I’m super disconnected from people right now. I’m too busy focusing on the types of people I’ve been dying to hang with since the beginning. People like Mike and Chris. Those are my types of people and I really wanna do so much with them now instead of people I knew at Benet. Obviously there are exceptions… but most friends I made at Benet truly were just so I could get by. THey were never anything special or endearing to me. I made them because I needed them to survive.
There are some people over right now with Daniel… They’re watching youtube videos. I dunno. I find that fucking boring. If they enjoy it, that’s fine… but not for me. And it seems that’s a pretty big hobby, almost, these days for people. another reason why Harriet and I are so awesome: something as simple as not really liking youtube is a common thread of ours.
I love these new high-end headphones I got. $110 with tax and shit… but totally worth it. For any music lover, I say you need them. I wish I’d realized what I was missing out on for so long. My life honestly feels different now that I’m hearing my music differently.
But okay… gotta get my laundry!
BE BACK
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September 2, 2008 at 7:33 am (emotions)
Tags: classes, columbia college, harriet, love, new orleans, Romancing The Angels, RTA, trips
Two days ago I hit a super low point. I was being just… absolutely stupid in every way; from saying things I shouldn’t be saying, to not believing in my own worth, to feeling downright exhausted and sick. It really wasn’t a good day and I look back on it already and honestly regret feeling that way. But as always, I emerge from those ashes like a phoenix and come back to kick major ass. And right now I’m just on a new level of greatness. Yesterday was RTA practice with Tim (hopefully with Natalie today??), I had great conversation with Harriet, I cut my hair a bit so it looks much nicer (makes me feel better about myself), I’m working out a lot and looking great, I was eating properly yesterday: I dunno it was just good. And I feel a ton better right now. After having RTA practice and hearing things be so tight… ugh. The future looks bright for us. It truly, truly does. And then my acoustic version of sunkisses?? Yes, RTA is doing incredibly well.
And I dunno, the hurricane passed over New Orleans with minimal damage and that just made a world of a difference in my mood. To even think that Harriet might have had to leave Tulane for a while, lose all of her belongings there, AND our trip wouldda been cancelled was just terrible to me. There was the idea she might come up here for school then until she went back… but still. That didn’t matter to me. Harriet’s happy in New Orleans! I want her to stay happy… I really do want what’s best for her. Fuck it if she’s up here and can see me every day… I’d rather her be somewhere where she’s truly happy and content with everything. I told all that to DJ. It made me feel good when his response was, “Fuck dude. You are so in love with her.” I responded, “What makes you say that?” “You really do put her way before your own needs.”
So Harriet gets to go back Sunday.. and our trip is still on. I cannot wait to see my love. I just cannot wait.
So, today’s the first day of classes! From 9-10:20.. that’s all I have to do haha. I must admit… columbia won’t be an eaaasy school… because I’m going to put so much effort forth… but it will be low-stress… and I owe that all to Benet. It’s a lot of detail I don’t feel like going into… but truth be fuckin told, I’m going to love it here at Columbia. I can just feel it. I just can’t wait for time to pass. I wanna get all my gen-eds just out of the way. I’ve decided that’s what I’d really like to do. I know a lot of people gotta decide: get them all done with… mix them into their four years… wait to really do them… I just want ‘em out of the way. The more of them I get done, the more classes in my major I can take… or my minor for that matter. I have no desire to focus on my minor at this point because I’m just so focused on other stuff. I like to put all I’ve got into something… and I don’t want to divide myself in 3 for my major, my gen-eds, and my minor. I’d rather do everything perfectly. Well.. that’s sort of a lie. I’m not too worried about my gen-eds… I can put forth 50% effort andbe okay, I think. But it’s my major I really do want to give it 100%. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that… but I think I can do it. If anything it’ll take me just a couple of weeks to get my shit together. But I know I can handle it. I’m too fucking determined.
But okay… it’s about time to go to class.
Writing and Rhetoric 1. See you later.
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