March 31, 2009 at 11:47 am (love, memories)
Tags: harriet, love, vacations
Log it down. I love the song, “I Thought I’d Lost You” by John Travolta & Miley Cyrus. It’s making me smile super big for super reasons. It reminds me that I’m in one of those loves where the world seems bigger, the sun shines brighter, candy tastes sweeter, and sleep feels deeper. My head’s in a tizzy and my feet seem to be off the ground. The mention of her name makes my skin tingle and her approaching touch makes my stomach fill with butterflies.
I’m in love. I’m so in love like you’d never believe.
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March 31, 2009 at 7:14 am (Uncategorized)
I’m trying my best to ignore how much this hurts. Because the moment I give in… is the moment I’ve lost.
I’m going to go start my day with working out.
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March 30, 2009 at 9:08 am (life)
Tags: drumming, ear plugs, erik, joe, make believe, recording, sensaphonics, weezer
I’ve got about 10 minutes to kill before I leave for Sensaphonics with Joe and Erik… so I figured I’d write! Yeah, yeah, I get that I’m writing a ridiculous amount. But fuck- it’s fun for me! I love just listening to music and letting my thoughts ramble. Blogging IS a hobby for me.
It’s pretty much official, April 24th the Window Theatre will be performing with New Found Glory and the next day we’ll be here at the UC playing at a Battle of the Bands! It’d be nice to a) make some profit from the tickets on NFG and also b) win the $250 cash prize from the UC BOTB.
I’ve got so much stuff to do today, but once it’s done and once I complete Tuesday, it’ll be smooth sailing from here on out. I’ve really learned to discipline myself as far as working hard and I can most assuredly keep it going for the rest of the semester I feel.
Started looking into classes for next semester… I’m going to be done with my Gen-eds so quickly! I decided that I’m going to finish all my gen-eds then start doing my minor. When I visit with Benj this week to talk about my path as a student here at Columbia, I’ll ask him about what classes to take as far as pursuing a career in opening my recording studio. I’m feeling very confident about my academics. I just hope I did as well on my BAS test as I think I did…
Totes listening to Make Believe by Weezer right now. Such a great album when you’re in the mood for it.
Looked into seeing Pacific Overtures and I think I’ll definitely be seeing it sooner than later con mi papa y Gabi.
I’m dying to drum. I’m so sad I didn’t get a chance to before leaving back to school. :-/ So you can bet I’m pumped as hell for Saturday! I’m really excited to get recording again. I’ve got my two new songs I’m definitely going to do plus maybe a re-make of Crystals? Been wanting to do that for a while now… At the same time, I don’t want to go back to the past. I want to keep treading forward.
But okay- gotta go! Need to change/fill out a work order for my bathroom/deliver some mail.
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March 30, 2009 at 1:29 am (life)
Tags: food, puke, puking, vomit
Oh wow. I could not tell you the last time I threw up… And crap do I feel like shit now. Haha… I threw up in the bathroom then as soon as I was done had to proceed with cleaning it all up. I feel special.
I want to call Harriet so badly and just… hear from her. I wish I could get back into bed and just listen to her talk. No matter how old you are, throwing up is harsh on the body and I’ve only known complete pampering when it does happen. Yet now here I am left to be completely alone in a dorm room and… while, yeah, I can certainly do it- I’m a freaking adult here! I do miss having someone like my mom to just soothe me or something after the fact. Which is why so naturally I wish Harriet were here to take care of me.
Ugh.. I just can’t seem to get taste out of my throat.
This really isn’t a big deal- I just need something to do at 2:20AM while my stomach re-settles.
Gah, I can’t even think of food right now. I’m really dying to get back into bed and sleep. My body feels especially tired now…
Ironically, the second I popped the two pepto bismal pills is when I had to immediately rush to the bathroom. Barely made it, really.
I think one of the worst parts of throwing up is SEEING your puke. It not only looks foul, but comes along with a pretty terrible smell as well. Gah… I need to check on that smell in a minute or two… see if it’s still there… and if so, do something about it, haha. My body just feels in shock and I feel so cold. I feel like a dork sitting here blogging about me throwing up- it’s such a common thing! It’s not like I’m gonna get sympathy or anything, am i? I guess it really has been such a very long time since it’s happened and it’s just throwing me for a loop.
Okay.. I’ll go check on the smell in the bathroom and hopefully get to sleep now.
Sorry about all this.
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March 29, 2009 at 9:08 pm (harriet)
This is going to be one of the hardest tests of my life. There will be days that sting worse than anything. But you know what? For almost seven years I’ve been killing myself for the music I make. I have put all my heart and soul into my music and have faced incredible challenges along the way. Never have I regretted a single thing nor have I looked back. I’m always moving forward and loving every second of the way. Now I’m being asked to face one of the greatest trials ever and I’m not afraid. I’ve proven to myself that I can be dedicated when I want to, I can make the harshest sacrifices when I need to, and I can be relentlessly passionate when asked to. My love for Harriet does not know how to falter and I will stay strong through all of this. It’s just going to be a really hard transition. Not hearing from her is going to, admittedly, make me worry. I’m going to feel scared for the first few days… maybe the first week or two (if it even lasts that long?). But as long as every so often I get my reassurance from her… I can do this. I love that woman with all I’ve got and this is the greatest test of that. And without a single hesitation, I know I’ll more than pass. I need her in my life and will not give up on her for anything. If this space will make her happier… she can take as much as she needs.
I’ve given her all that I have and I trust that she’ll continue to fill me back up with all that I need for the rest of my life.
I need not worry.
My future has always felt bright… then when it became OUR future… it felt even brighter… and now it’s shining at its brightest. It’s okay that she’s a realist. It doesn’t take an optimist to know that what we have is the greatest thing ever created. And I trust fully that she’s aware.
Here’s to staying strong.
I can do this.
It’s all for her… so she can be happier. What greater reason do I need?
Day Eight.
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