Lately I’ve been wanting to blog alot. Is it because I have sometihng important to say? No, not at all. Is it because there’s a lot on my mind? Sure, there always is, but I have yet to share anything heavy with you. But I think there’s a simple answer to why, really. I want to change the world.
I really, really wish to use these two hands, my brain, my words, my heart- anything I can to try and help shape this world in some way. Even if it’s only one person in this life that I ever help out, I want to be able to do that and spread some good. And it was after a comment I got a long time ago on my WordPress where someone said, “I love reading your blogs, it makes me feel comfortable; your optimism makes me happy.” That came from a complete stranger whom to this day I don’t even know- but their words inspired something inside of me. I figure, if my words can reach out and touch, possibly grab someone, I might as well attempt to connect with anyone I can with any thoughts that I have. And that’s why I write. I write so that I can inspire, so I can intrigue, so I can change. I want to share my ideas, my plots, my visions and show them to the world.
So with that out of the way… here’s a Mortimer Update.
Each day gets better and better. I find myself happier and happier. I’m smiling more. I’m saying “I love you” more. I’m just in this perfect state that I refuse to let be altered.
Working Friday night with Syed and Derek was just so awesome. All three of us haven’t been together in the same shift for who knows how long, and it was so good to experience all that again. Afterwards Harriet came over and it was just the way nights should be spent. I was dead tired, but being in her company was enough for me to just feel so at ease and so happy. I had no idea I’d find someone as amazing as her in my final year at Benet.
I’ve gone through life meeting exciting person after exciting person. I know such a range of people and all of them are so different. However, I seriously have never met anyone like Hatti. If you took everything in a person I could want and need- that’s her. Sometimes it’s shocking. I’m sure she doesn’t feel even close to the way that I do seeing as I’m something of an idiot, but it really doesn’t matter if she recirpocates the feeling or not. We don’t say “Hey, great job” to hear it back. We don’t say “I love you” just to have it returned. We express our true feelings to express our true feelings and nothing more. You shouldn’t go off giving compliments or exposing your heart just to have the same words said back. Whatever niceties we relinquish, we should say merely because we believe in them and want that person to know just how we feel. So even if Hatti never feels the same way: that just doesn’t matter to me. Regardless, my life is changed and it’s incredibly better.
It’s not just her though that has contributed to this perfection. Last night Nick was over and we started writing some tunes for Devil Rapist. Got two things out of the way. It may not be what Nick wants or has been envisioning, but at least for me, it shows my range. Cuz I actually really dig the song we wrote (And the Bird Flew Away). It’s unlike anything I’ve ever had to write before and I feel accomplished knowing that I can branch out and do different styles. Coming from a guy who grew up playing punk rock, then to indie, now to some hard rock… it’s a good range I’m developing.
I managed to prove my awesomeness at Halo last night: every match we played I took first place with 20+ kills each time. The highest other kill rate was like, 9. I get heckled for “playing Halo too much”. But I only play like, two or three online matches per day, only on the weekend. So in a weekend I play Halo for about an hour on my own. That’s hardly anything! during the weekdays I basically don’t touch my video games.
John came over yesterday and contributed to my life’s perfection a bit. I truly realized how good of friends we are. No matter what people say about him- I really don’t care about their false notions about him. He realy is a great friend and we get along incredibly well. Our jam session was fantab. After working on some Apollo’s Dream songs we were back to playing blink tunes together and I got him to start singing: it was ace! It was rather exciting to see him playing bass and singing to blink songs… brought back soo many incredible memories for me.
Gah, I gotta go to work. But you, dear reader, have a marvelous day. I know I plan to.
