December 14, 2009 at 12:04 am (love)
Tags: kids, love, marriage
I’ma be short and sweet about this. I’m watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians with Alex and there was a very poignant scene that just happened. The girl was at the doctor’s, on a bed about to discover the sex of her new baby. Her boyfriend was next to her and as her shirt was pulled up and the jelly was placed on her big tummy, the girl’s family came in and it became a packed doctor’s office. The whole scene just really moved me. I’ve thought about the wedding, the honeymoon, the little league games, the first steps, even the kicks in the stomach– but this one scene had never crossed my mind. And as I watched it, I just felt the urge to say I can’t fucking wait for that.
Can’t fuckin’ wait. 
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December 9, 2009 at 11:11 am (love)
Yesterday sucked. We already talked about this. But right before heading off to bed I did a music swap with boy Jimmy and it lead to me listening to Sugar Ray. As you can guess I went to bed feeling pretty nice. And then after a great night’s sleep (the first one I can recount in recent memory) I’m just feelin wonderful right now. It’s freezing outside– I can see the snow racing past furiously outside– but that’s okay. I’m listening to hot tunes like I’m Yours, Everything, and And Hello! I listen to my playlist noted as “S&H” when I’m looking for an easy, quick smile. It’s all the songs that remind me of Harriet and I. And you know, I’m not sitting here trying to be a sap and be like, “Ugh, I miss my baby…” It’s just that these songs are attached to beautiful, carefree memories and of course when I hear them, I’m going to become empowered. I can honestly say this is the most inspired I’ve felt in a long while just because I’m listening to a certain few songs. And that’s just what I’m lookin’ for. This week is kicking my ass so far and I need the inspiration– the energy. And honestly, since as long as I can remember, my two sources of power have come from love and music (usually can go together, but in this case they’re separate). When I hear Michael Buble singing on “Everything” it just makes me light. Reminds me of being at Harriet’s for those two weeks during tour and how that summer I’d never felt more important or more loved in my whole life. And that shit fuels me even now! Yeah. My life is now terribly different than it was 4… 6… 8 months ago. But that’s irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how you get your inspiration, so long as you can get it. Before, the plan was always looking ahead. Knowing what’s to come always made me high. Now that’s changed. Now I look back at once was to give me hope for tomorrow– because life WAS perfect at one point in my life. It’s not an impossible goal. And while tests, projects, cold weather, lack of sleep, and a lack of free time are all trying to get me down, so long as I have memories that can tell me, “Hey, it gets better than this. You know it does…” I can find the strength to push on through this week and all the other weeks that try to anally touch me.
Music & Love. They’ll always turn my world.
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November 25, 2009 at 5:21 pm (love)
In the end loving another person is about sacrifice and learning how to give. Sacrificing your time, sacrificing your energy, giving of your self, giving your attention. Sometimes you’re gonna do things you don’t want to and often times there are plenty of hardships. But when you’re in love– when you’re connected to another soul… ain’t nothing can beat that. There is nothing better than knowing your love is what makes a person warm.
From the first kiss, to every time you hold hands, to waking up with her in your arms– it’s a feeling unlike any other and it should always send goosebumps down your spine it’s so intense.
Signed,
Me.
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November 20, 2009 at 1:03 pm (love)
“No way, we ain’t gonna break up
We made a promise and my will won’t fade out
Not just in oh-ten and oh-eleven
we’ll be together from now until we’re up in heaven.”
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November 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm (love)
Tags: babies, harriet, jim, love, pam, the office
***SPOILER ALERT***
I just finished Season 5 of the Office, bringing me fully up to date with the series. It was one heck of a quick ride, ploughing through all those episodes.
Hah, I’m trying to get my words out properly here but I just can’t do it. I’m not in a very writer-y mood. Here’s the skinny of what I’m trying to say: Pam ends up finding out that she’s pregnant in the very last moments of the last episode and the way Jim and her react together is nothing but sweet. And I don’t mean the sweet as in like, “dude, that is so rad!” I mean, sweet like a second grader offering his female crush a handful of picked dandelions at recess. The way Jim reacts is nothing short of how I’ll react and whenever I see stuff like that, I freak out on the inside and just get lost in my own daydreams. That’s why I loved Away We Go and Marley & Me. That’s why I got caught up in HIMYM so quickly and even the Office. When I can see myself in something, I get attached quickly. When I see Harriet and I in something, I get attached even quicker. And that ending to Season 5 of the Office was just a smile and a half for me. I think I squealed a tiny bit out of joy.
Things are really tough right now… that’s all I’m going to say. But that big picture is still nice and bright. When I see my wedding day… or the mother of my children… or just the rest of my life flying by… There’s still only one person who absolutely has to be there through it all. And no matter what we’re going through right now, I just know she’s going to be there in the end.
Her handwriting on my mug even says so.
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