Tonight we made Wild Teriyaki Salmon burgers with salad and waffle fries, all whilst listening to great jazz.  Then Erik and I made some tea and turned on the Buble.  As if I wasn’t already feelin’ good, it’s official… only one thing comes to mind when I hear the album Call Me Irresponsible… and it’s called My Summer In Houston Texas.  That was the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life and it’s going to take lots and lots to top it.  Being with Harriet, being apart of Harriet’s family, and man-dating the hell out of my time with Chris– can a man like me ask for much more?

I guess, only that it never had to end.

Signed,
A boy who misses a girl.

“No way, we ain’t gonna break up
We made a promise and my will won’t fade out
Not just in oh-ten and oh-eleven
we’ll be together from now until we’re up in heaven.”

Harriet called me right as I got out of class.  She called to let me know what’s up with her new painting.  It’s basically going to portray a rebellion and her main inspiration is the Untitled album by blink-182.  Just by talking about it I decided to go home and put it on immediately.  The production values on that record are so big and the songwriting is pretty much flawless.  When it first dropped in 2003 it was a huge inspiration to my life and even today that stands true.  And I guess the point I’m trying to make with this blog is that everyone has something in their life that inspires them… whether it’s a movie, a book, a friend, a song– there’s always SOMETHING that can make a person tick.  One of those things for me is blink-182.  They set me on the path that I follow today and I’ll never forget it.  I may find tons of new bands and get addicted to plenty of them, but you can never forget your roots.  You can never forget what made you who you are.

I write and play music endlessly because blink-182 gave me a voice.  I believe that I can achieve anything I want to and shape the world to my liking because Tom’s words empower me.  I feel that I can be a successful artist, music producer, and business entrepaneur because Mark is able to do it too.

Maybe it’s stupid of me to be so heavily influenced by a band. But at least I’m influenced by something.  Blink is just a firestarter for my passion– the celestial fire inside me is all innate and a blessing from God I nurture in my own way.  And with the way my life is going and the decisions I’ve been making as of late– that vision for the future is well on its way.  The blisters on my hand are telling me so.

I’m done trying to let the world around me figure itself out.  I’m making the decisions now.

I’ve been having a ridiculously hard time sleeping lately.  Either something is noisy and keeping me up, I’ve got too much on my mind, or I just can’t find it in me to fall asleep.  I can’t remember the last time I actually fell asleep before 3AM and I just want it to stop.  I tried so hard to go to bed early last night and what do you know… I tossed and turned until about 2:45.  And like, for whatever reason, last night I’d fall asleep for five minutes then wake up totally awake.  It was bizarre.  I think what kept me up the most was my mind.  I started thinking about how Harriet used to call me “sweetie” and her “baby boy.”  I started thinking about how badly I miss that.

“Sweetiee.”  ”Yess?” “Oh nothing.  I just want your attention.”

Then I started imagining I was playing Modern Warfare and went through the motions in my head of dominating on Rust.  Yes- you are looking at an MW champ right here.  I got first place three times yesterday, all with a commanding lead.  I’m really starting to get used to Modern Warfare’s mechanics.  But, going back to my main point, then there I was only by 3am falling asleep and fuck!  It has to stop.  I’m hoping tonight I’ll come home from class, eat dinner, work out, read, and be asleep by 1:30 at THE latest.  Clearly my body is used to going to bed at 3, so I gotta at least just take some baby steps on working my way to an earlier time.  Because you know, last semester, Erik and Joe would always get on my case about not wanting to hang out very late and I always pleaded I really just enjoyed the morning hours so much better than the late night hours.  And now that I’ve experienced both fully, I stand by it: life just feels better when you’re awake for even hours of daylight and nighttime.  It’s a bit more fulfilling I guess you could say.

But yeah, enough about sleep!  Today John Mayer’s new album, Battle Studies, dropped!  I’ve heard two songs so far and I’m not impressed… but c’mon.  It’s John Mayer.  He’s written 3 super awesome albums to date, is he really gonna drop the ball on CD number 4, randomly?  It’s my guess that once I hear the LP quality and get into the nitty gritty details of his music, I’ll definitely come to appreciate it.

So I had a talk with Joe yesterday about my blogs and WHY I blog.  He said he enjoys reading them and I thought that was rad.  And you know, if you go back and look at old posts, I’d get people all the time going, “I completely agree with what you have to say.”  People I don’t even KNOW were finding my blogs and just reading them, commenting on them.  That used to happen because I’d share my feelings without restraint, I’d come onto WordPress to vent, rant, rave, and just chat.  I don’t do that anymore.  I come to WordPress usually with a purpose because as I get older, I do start feeling like the “update blogs” are kinda pointless.  Well now I’m here to call “bullshit!” on the matter.  It’s so much fun looking back on old posts to see exactly how I felt and exactly what I was doing like… 3 years ago.  I can’t do that for the past year of my life because a) I stopped getting personal with my blogs and b) as already stated, I’m starting to find certain types of blogs stupid.  but you know, when I write “about my day”… it’s not necessarily for “present me” to enjoy.  That comes 2 or 3 years down the line when I look back and go, “No shit- I totally remember that now!”  So I’m really going to take an initiative to just post ‘lil updates here when I can.  A lot of my life is flying by without any type of documentation and it’s really sad that I’m not getting some of the details down.

Anyways, thanks to my dumb ass sleeping schedule, it’s now 11:20 and I’ve got lots I want to do before I go to class from 3:30-9:20.  So bounce, I must!  Gonna start things off with getting John Mayer’s new album.  Expect a review up as soon as I have some concrete thoughts.

au revoir!  Have a great day.

Today is a gorgeous overcast day.  It’s very dark and the horizon line where the clouds meet the lake is intensely distinct.  For whatever reason, when I look out my window it reminds me of New Orleans.  Couldn’t tell you why.  It’s much like how while driving 355N towards Schaumburg, there’s that stretch of highway that reminds me of Japan.  Can’t tell you why!  Just the way my mind makes connections.

I miss warm weather already.  While looking outside and “seeing New Orleans,” it makes me think of the hot, balmy weather of the south that I actually miss a whole lot.  While it was so nice here in Chicago for the entire summer, I had a lot of fun being shirtless while on tour slash at Harriet’s.  I see the lake and it makes me want to hop into the ocean with Harriet and play beach ball with a tiny girl we don’t know.  And fuck, I can’t wait for the band to acquire the necessary equipment to go on tour again.  The entire spanse of tour- from Manifest to that last night and morning with Harriet is easily the greatest time of my life.  There are stories I have that still no one has heard because so much went down.

When I am free– when I am completely on my own– I’m everything I want to be.  To me, nothing beats having the freedom to do whatever you want.  And yeah.  When I’m at college I definitely have the freedom to do whatever it is I want… but I’m confined to a city.  I really do long for that open road traveling from place to place.  I’ve been in one town for basically all of my life and I crave to just go everywhere now.  Even while living in Wheaton I’d travel thirty five minutes out to Plainfield just to get Chinese or daytrip to forest preserves just to escape the ordinary.  I’m not sure Harriet and I really ever had “repeat weekends” where it was just the same thing over and over like most couples.  For us it was always an adventure to see what the weekend would bring when we got together.  And that’s just the way I want my life.  I don’t want to spend it going from party to party every weekend.  That’s why I go home to Wheaton often; that’s why I’ll travel over an hour to go to Kafein; that’s why I see movies at the Music Box instead of AMC; that’s why I’m throwing a bunch of themed parties this Winter (since it’s my season in the apartment to take care of)– I’ve always been an enemy of mediocrity and routine– and I can assure you that will never change about me.

Well, the drive to continue writing has passed.  I will end this here!

Take care now.