November 25, 2009 at 12:15 pm (music)
Tags: dreams, music, Romancing The Angels
It just hit me. Ever since I wrote Steal the Sky I haven’t been content with the songs I’ve written. None of them feel as awesome or cool. I mean, you could make the assessment that maybe I’ve lost the spark? Maybe I really am not writing as cool of songs? But look at tunes like Avenue, Nowhere Near, Breaking Dawn, Spring, and Race for the Moon. I’m clearly at the top of my form, crafting supremely emotional, skillful songs. So why am I so disappointed with them deep down? Here’s my theory: I never got to play those songs on Steal the Sky. I never got to see them reach their full potential- no one has. And that’s why until I get a chance to just perform shows with them under my belt and build up some fan favorites, I’ll never be able to move on from the first batch of songs that I was really proud of.
I can’t keep writing song after song and allow them to sit on a shelf somewhere with nowhere to go. I know a drummer in my recording class. I should talk to him. And maybe I can even get Alex in on this… and all I’d need is a bassist which I’m sure I could find.
At the start of this school year I said I was going to play a bunch of acoustic shows- but that just isn’t my style. That won’t satisfy the craving inside me to hear my genius realized. And I get it– time after time I keep saying “I’m forming a band, I’m doing this,” and something always gets in the way to severely stop it. And I understand that this could be me falling flat on my face yet again! But… shit. At least I’m trying. At least I’m making an effort to make this work. And clearly I don’t plan on stopping.
Here’s to always reaching for that sky and trying to steal it.
Leave a Comment
November 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm (dreams)
Tags: music, harriet, blink-182, dreams, tom, the window theatre, aspirations, mark, untitled, decisions
Harriet called me right as I got out of class. She called to let me know what’s up with her new painting. It’s basically going to portray a rebellion and her main inspiration is the Untitled album by blink-182. Just by talking about it I decided to go home and put it on immediately. The production values on that record are so big and the songwriting is pretty much flawless. When it first dropped in 2003 it was a huge inspiration to my life and even today that stands true. And I guess the point I’m trying to make with this blog is that everyone has something in their life that inspires them… whether it’s a movie, a book, a friend, a song– there’s always SOMETHING that can make a person tick. One of those things for me is blink-182. They set me on the path that I follow today and I’ll never forget it. I may find tons of new bands and get addicted to plenty of them, but you can never forget your roots. You can never forget what made you who you are.
I write and play music endlessly because blink-182 gave me a voice. I believe that I can achieve anything I want to and shape the world to my liking because Tom’s words empower me. I feel that I can be a successful artist, music producer, and business entrepaneur because Mark is able to do it too.
Maybe it’s stupid of me to be so heavily influenced by a band. But at least I’m influenced by something. Blink is just a firestarter for my passion– the celestial fire inside me is all innate and a blessing from God I nurture in my own way. And with the way my life is going and the decisions I’ve been making as of late– that vision for the future is well on its way. The blisters on my hand are telling me so.
I’m done trying to let the world around me figure itself out. I’m making the decisions now.
Leave a Comment
November 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm (life)
Tags: adventures, black holes, carpe diem, changes, dreams, harriet, home, longing, optimism
I had a pretty disturbing dream the other night. Been meaning to share it. Nothing special about this blog.
The Dream.
It was about two nights ago when I had this one. I was somewhere new with Harriet, couldn’t tell you exactly where, but I’ll try describing the scene. It was nighttime and we were in a Southwestern town- the type of trees and the red rock cliff we were on suggested it. More specifically we were at like a restaurant/bar of some sort. Lots of people were there and the roof was made of glass (or was it actually just open?). It was a very wide-open bar- don’t even think there were tables, but people were definitely mingling. We were just enjoying ourselves, being totally platonic with each other. And then something wondrous happened.
Everybody had to look up because the stars were acting strange. They looked as if they were being stretched out into thin lines across the sky and were getting slightly brighter by the second. No one understood what was happening, but everybody looked up. And then after a few minutes the sky went dark, casting pitch blackness on the earth. When subtle light returned, at a very fast pace a pulsating black hole slid across the sky and looked over our planet. Everyone immediately knew what it was and what it was capable of and panic broke out instantly. It must have been only for two seconds that our lives were left to our control before the black hole began its work and started sucking up the earth and everyone in it. It was in those two seconds that Harriet spun around and yelled at me, “I thought you said this wouldn’t happen for another 5000 years?” As soon as she said that everything slowed down. We were being pulled into the black hole slowly and movement felt impossible.
With all the force I had I pulled her close and kissed her, knowing that there was no way out… and apparently also knowing there’s nothing I wanted more to do than make that the last thing I ever do.
I woke up with my heart-racing. And since then the imagery hasn’t left me for a second.
End.
Leave a Comment
November 1, 2009 at 10:10 pm (love)
Tags: dreams, harriet, love
I miss slow dancing in the basement.
And driving through the night listening to Nightmare of You after a nice dinner.
And lying to everyone about where I was when the only place I could be found was in the arms of another.
And falling asleep to a sweet “Goodnight” and waking up to lovely morning sentiments.
And sneaking in kisses when no one was looking.
And stealing little kisses when everyone was looking.
And holding hands just to make it through the halls.
And leaving notes just to prove I care.
And watching movies only to not watch at all.
And laughing when maybe there was nothing there to laugh at.
And staring stupidly because the words won’t come.
And gazing deeply because I didn’t need to say anything at all.
And cuddling in backseats because driving home would just take too long.
And skipping school because in reality, we were just that cool.
And singing along to songs that said everything we felt.
And making whispered confessions because we just wanted the other to know.
And walking in to parties only to steal the show.
And hosting parties because we are the show.
And daydreaming about our wedding.
And smiling endlessly about all the adventures we’d have.
あなたとふたりでいきてゆきたい。
Leave a Comment
September 25, 2009 at 8:59 am (life)
Tags: dreams, fall, family, future, seasons
It’s a beautiful Fall day here in Wheaton, IL. You never get to truly enjoy the seasons when you’re in the city- I didn’t even know the trees were turning color until this morning. Fall is my favorite season- bar-none. So many great things always happen in Autumn. Why, the other day I got to enjoy a delicious Pumpkin Chai latte from Argo Tea and I plan to get many more from various coffeeshops. The seasonal flavors within the culinary world are always a blast- my pumpkin scone from Starbucks two days ago was the bomb diggity. And then gosh, I love fall fashion. For the past three days I’ve worn my brown pants with flip-flops and various shirts. I’ve enjoyed it immensely. And I got to bust out the ‘ol AOF sweatshirt (woo!) which felt only too right.
It’s times like these where I’m sitting in my room, alone in the house, writing, that the big picture comes into place. City living just isn’t for me. But settling down with a family in the suburbs and having three children with the woman of my dreams- that’s the big picture I’m waiting for. I fantasize about raking leaves with my kids in the front yard and then jumping into the freshly made piles. Or what about getting lost in a corn maze with everyone? Or what about early morning cross country meets then going out to lunch afterwards at a place like Teddy’s Red Hots of Flip’s? And then there’s Pumpkin carving, Thanksgiving, candy corn (which I’ve completely grown out of haha…), overcast skies, orange leaves- what isn’t there to love about Fall?
I do a great job of living in the here and the now. But I just can’t get overly excited for it. Because when I think of what my life can be in just two and a half short years… that’s so much more thrilling… and that’s the dream I don’t want to let go of. I especially can’t wait for all the future Autumnal activities I’ll be enjoying with my family. 
1 Comment
