What a crazy week it’s been thus far… I can barely begin to document it all, although I know I should. It’s times like these that I don’t want to be forgetting! So for the sake of just… remembering my life down the road, I’m going to give the best shot I can at detailing all that has been happening.
One of the bigger highlights on my mind are the friends I’ve been making. Here’s the grocery list of names who are now people I call friends: Ashley, Maurice, Charles, Ryan, and Zach. Ashley and Ryan are by far the coolest, but still, a friend’s a friend and I’m glad I’m making them. I especially like spending time with Ryan. We’re always kind of joking with each other and never being serious, but I think that’s just his personality for you and nothing I can help. Regardless, it’s a still a great time just hanging with him and talking. DJ’s been coming over a lot and that’s been great. We had our period of not talking and I think that may have made him realize what he’s missing with me… and truthfully, I kinda need him now too. I need him to get my mind off stuff and he’s quite good at it.
This weekend was dedicated to all things Window Theatre and it’s been wonderful. It all started Thursday with us going around telling people door-to-door about our awesomeness. I was having a great time acting like a dork and letting it all hang out. I danced crazily to rainbow sherbet, I stuffed cupcakes in my mouth and let joe lick my fingers, and I even collapsed on the floor, yelling things down the hall and at people. It was a great time, needless to say. Oh, and before that we did an acoustic audition and blew the pants off of our judges. I happened to blow the pants off Erik and Joe by coming up with all-too-fitting second guitar parts for You Will Make It Through and pulling them off flawlessly in just a couple of run-throughs.
Friday I slept all day until about 2:30 when I darted off to Wow Bao, had an amazing lunch, then set up a Twitter account (http://www.twitter.com/stephentheatre), and ran over to Clark and Harrison to meet Joe and Erik for band practice! Of course it was a good time the whole day. Then we had a pretty damn successful practice, ate great dinners, and ended up spending three hours watching an insane movie called Inland Empire. I swear to you I’ve never been more disturbed or unsettled by a movie. But ANYWAYS.
Then Saturday came and we had a FLAWLESS run through of our songs right before we went and saw Adventureland (which was amazing). That quick practice sesh started the day off perfectly. Especially Joe’s new pedal made us sound boss as hell. On the way to the movies we blasted great music- most notably Daddy’s Little Defect by Sugarcult. We rocked out hxc to that shit and talked about The Game Of Love being one of the greatest songs ever made and Santana using neck pickups on his PRS. After the movie we were all kinda chill and just relaxed to some Minus the Bear for the trip home… but then right before pulling into my house we rocked out mega hardcore to Koi No Mega Lover- windows down and all. Then we practiced and it was great… But then here’s the kicker- we added the song “The District Sleeps Alone Tonight” to our repetoire of songs… and it’s INCREDIBLE. I don’t think we could have tried making it sound any better- it’s beyond godly and exactly what I needed to get me super pumped about TWT (as if having a Twitter to update band stuffs wasn’t pump up material enough). Then we went to mass and got some goodness in us and then went home for more groovy practicing + dinner. Dinner was sexexcellent and afterwards we then took a trip to downtown naperville and hit up Barnes and Noble. Joe and I read some of JTHM while Erik talked on the phone with Tiffany. Made me miss Harriet terribly. Then I went to the sex book section to drown my sorrows and ended up getting Joe to join me. We were looking at a very cute book, actually, that made him and I melt with sentimentality.
I picked up a book by Haruki Murakami, as all the talk of reading/books with Erik and Joe got me wanting to read something new. I decided it’s exactly what I need right now in my life. Books and movies. I kinda need ‘em right now. Then we went to Starbucks where we had phenomenal conversation- get us a coffeeshop and get us coffee- we will talk forever and we will talk about amazing stuff. Came to the not-so-new realization together that life is absurdly different than it ever was and we never could see ourselves doing what we’re doing now. Yet despite the drastic new-ness to everything, one thing is for certain- this IS exactly what we want to be doing with our lives. Then we went grocery shopping, bought overssized gumballs and did super sweet things with them, ran around like buffoons, and rented Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Twas a great night.
Now it’s Sunday. There’s a hellofa lot of stupid-ass shit I could write about right now… but I’m not going to. I’m going to say one thing and just leave it at that…. I miss Harriet. The hole in my heart is gaping… and it hurts.
Today we’re all going back to the city. We have to be back so early because we’ve got an interview with this man who’s doing a write-up on all the bands playing at Manifest. It’s not really a big deal, but I suppose playing at Manifest in itself is a big deal… so let’s just say this is a big deal. Afterwards I’m just going home to rest and do homework. Haven’t slept much this weekend. That hole I have has made me feel incredibly restless and generally uneasy. I do a great job of hiding it and making sure it doesn’t affect how I am with people or while I’m out. Or even when I’m at home and I’ve got stuff to do- I make sure to drown it out and keep it away. Yet… it’s when I’ve got nothing to do but sit around with my thoughts that it’s the loudest thing there and it’s nagging at me to acknowledge it. I want to call her… I want to text her… But I know that I need to be stronger than that. Harriet needs this space and if I can’t give it to her, then I’m just going to make this pain last even longer. I’m just… dying to have her be back in my life. I feel ridiculously weird having her this far from me.
But hey… it’s for the greater good, right? I guess if I could just have some reassurance… hear her say, “Stephen.. I love you.” I could feel alright.
I need to keep holding onto Spring Break- the amazing time that was… the words that were said…
Breathe deep, breathe easy. Today I’ll go home, charge my phone (it’s been dead since yesterday afternoon) and call Vicky. She’s always great at clearing my head. I’ll write Harriet a letter too and update her on my life… that’ll also make me feel better.
I really am having the greatest time ever with my life. I’m more myself than ever and am more outgoing than ever. Just… it’s like anything: people are going to talk about and focus on the bad more than the good- because the bad hurts. You bask in your happiness, you vent about your sadness. Just because maybe my words seem melancholy and down here does NOT mean that’s how I’m acting. Writing is a way for me to face my demons and keep moving on. I guess all I’m trying to say is… Don’t judge me by what you read here. You’re not going to see a portrait of me. You’re going to see personal thoughts and reflections that often times are only meant to make sense to me and be a way for me to find clarity.
Regardless… Cheers to today. Life is beautiful. I’m going to go love it for all it’s worth.
