November 16, 2009 at 4:12 pm (emotions)
Tags: chicago, happiness, japan, mediocrity, new orleans, routine
Today is a gorgeous overcast day. It’s very dark and the horizon line where the clouds meet the lake is intensely distinct. For whatever reason, when I look out my window it reminds me of New Orleans. Couldn’t tell you why. It’s much like how while driving 355N towards Schaumburg, there’s that stretch of highway that reminds me of Japan. Can’t tell you why! Just the way my mind makes connections.
I miss warm weather already. While looking outside and “seeing New Orleans,” it makes me think of the hot, balmy weather of the south that I actually miss a whole lot. While it was so nice here in Chicago for the entire summer, I had a lot of fun being shirtless while on tour slash at Harriet’s. I see the lake and it makes me want to hop into the ocean with Harriet and play beach ball with a tiny girl we don’t know. And fuck, I can’t wait for the band to acquire the necessary equipment to go on tour again. The entire spanse of tour- from Manifest to that last night and morning with Harriet is easily the greatest time of my life. There are stories I have that still no one has heard because so much went down.
When I am free– when I am completely on my own– I’m everything I want to be. To me, nothing beats having the freedom to do whatever you want. And yeah. When I’m at college I definitely have the freedom to do whatever it is I want… but I’m confined to a city. I really do long for that open road traveling from place to place. I’ve been in one town for basically all of my life and I crave to just go everywhere now. Even while living in Wheaton I’d travel thirty five minutes out to Plainfield just to get Chinese or daytrip to forest preserves just to escape the ordinary. I’m not sure Harriet and I really ever had “repeat weekends” where it was just the same thing over and over like most couples. For us it was always an adventure to see what the weekend would bring when we got together. And that’s just the way I want my life. I don’t want to spend it going from party to party every weekend. That’s why I go home to Wheaton often; that’s why I’ll travel over an hour to go to Kafein; that’s why I see movies at the Music Box instead of AMC; that’s why I’m throwing a bunch of themed parties this Winter (since it’s my season in the apartment to take care of)– I’ve always been an enemy of mediocrity and routine– and I can assure you that will never change about me.
Well, the drive to continue writing has passed. I will end this here!
Take care now.
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June 30, 2008 at 1:08 pm (emotions)
Tags: anime, harriet, japan, samurai champloo, tsutchie
The summer’s where I spend all my time watching anime… those are damn good summers. I’ve had two of them. And I dunno… as much as I want this summer to be an anime-filled summer, too, it’s just not happening. I’m too busy to watch anime or I’m too tired. Plus, the lack of great anime in my life doesn’t help either. I remember being so hungry for Champloo or RahXephon and just being so engrossed in every episode. THat just doesn’t happen anymore… I haven’t seen an anime in so long where I just couldn’t wait for the next episode. I’m enjoying The Melancholy of Harhui Suzumiya immensely, but I’m not hooked. I just really enjoy it. I need an anime that’ll turn my head and make me so excited.
I love sitting here listening to the music from champloo. Not only is it amazing music, but it just makes me think of such fond things: summer, Japan, champloo, other emotions associated with anime. Harriet keeps mentioning every so often the idea of moving to Japan to be a doctor. I keep saying “yeah, that’d be sweet,” but just the other day I realized how much I absolutely adore that idea. I think the only thing stopping me from jumping up and parading around that she’d actually want to move to Japan is the fact I’m just a bit scared of committing to the idea. Let’s face it: I DONT KNOW THE LANGUAGE! But once I get a year or two of Japanese under my belt… I get the grand feeling I’ll be calling her down in New Orleans saying, “Hey, we’re going to Japan. We must.”
Japan is such an amazing country. So full of contrast. There’s your ultimate beauty in the countryside and also within the magnificent cities; but there’s also evil lurking in the streets and around every corner. If you want it, you can find it in Japan. Every emotional and physical need can be met in some way. Harriet first thought I was a bit strange for loving Japan so much… but rather quickly she discovered why I enjoy it so much.
Fuck I’m tired. I’ll go watch some anime.
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April 28, 2008 at 6:13 am (dreams)
Tags: age, america, benet, desire, harriet, japan, school
It’s getting difficult to deal with living. I can’t stand certain circumstances… aka, school. Aka, America. Aka, being 18. If I didn’t go to Benet, lived in Japan, and were like, 21, we’d be set. Well, not entirely. Harriet would have to be with me too. But I know she’d be alright with joining.
I’ve really got nothing else to say. That’s all I desire. It’s all I’m thinking about.
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April 9, 2008 at 8:22 pm (harriet, japan)
Tags: dreams, excitement, harriet, japan, love, mystline, nujabes, travel
You. Me. & Japan. Or a foreign country of your choice. Let’s go.
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March 23, 2008 at 10:59 am (emotions)
Tags: abuse, bobby, corbett, danielle, debby, fun, harriet, italy, japan, kelsey, love, mrs. zeller, pain, painting, paris, secrets, the olympics, truth, wonder
Part 1:
I’m not a recluse… I just like keeping my world very tiny and very intimate.
Part 2:
Have you ever felt so certain about sometihng even in the face of the greatest uncertainty?
For example, how can you possibly know what’s going to happen in ten years from now… but have you ever sat back and gone, “I can just tell this is exactly what I’m going to be doing,” whatever “this” may be?
That’s how I feel about a certain situation I’m in. I just don’t see my life going in any other direction than one that is in direct accordance with another’s.
Part 3:
Everyone has secrets. Also… everyone has dark secrets. When you hear one of these dark secrets, that generally means you are trusted with great measure… but that dark secret technically has the ability to alter how you look at the person in front of you. So… what should weigh more… the actual secret? Or the fact you’ve been trusted to know? The truth can be so beautiful and magnificent… but sometimes it can be painful and ugly.
I’ve learned a lot this weekend, at the expense of seeing people I love in a different light. For better and for… worse?
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