Homes for Butterflies

I’ve got a lot of time this morning to just rest… seeing as my day will be highly stimulating, I see no other reason than to just kick back right now.  Since I’m here and have nothing better to do… why don’t we assess my life?  Blogs are good for self-reflection and I haven’t done much of that in a while.  I’ve thought about things a lot and put things into perspective… but I haven’t really put ‘em all in one place.  All my thoughts have been pretty scattered.

First of all… let’s discuss my music.  Because that’ll help me to easily segway into something else.  It would appear Appastar is better than ever.  The more we practice, the more we grow together, and the music just gets better and better.  The new song we wrote is complete evidence of that.  So, for a long time Appastar didn’t really excite me.  It felt like we were going through the motions… we were a band, nothing more.  Granted, I always saw us as a family… but progress wise, we were just some local band trying to make it.  Now I’m starting to really believe in our sound now that it’s bigger, fuller, and tighter than ever.  I’m at a point where I truly do believe Appastar can and will make it big soon.  Then there’s Apollo’s Dream- this has been discussed over and over… and seeing as we haven’t recorded or practiced in like, two weeks… I don’t have much to comment on.  But we are practicing Friday and I’m very very excited.  My toe still hurts a bit… but I’ll stick it out.  Then there’s RTA.  Or…me. I dunno, I’ve kinda dropped the RTA moniker and have quit making music to put out cds… it’s all about making music for the love of it and I write a new song just about every day.  And what I’ve been putting out lately has been phenomenal.  Most listeners get a half-assed version because there’s lots of mistakes and its poorly mixed simply because it’s become just a hobby… why should I slave over a song that I really have no intention of selling/giving to people?  But I hear the true potential… I hear what the song could be like if done properly and I really haven’t made better music than I do right now.  And while it might be overly sappy/cheezy to say this, but it all started when I met Harriet.  The moment she became a part of my life, my music started blossoming.  I have my reasons for why this is… but the short hand is as follows: great music is inspired.  Harriet inspires me.

So didn’t I say this would transition nicely?  Allow me to discuss Harriet now.  Hah, oh gosh, what could I even say?  I’m giving this girl every ounce of energy and love that I have.  I feel so comfortable around her it’s ridiculous.  Like, yesterday was an off day for me in every form of the word.  I just… did not feel okay in my own skin.  But I knew Harriet understood that.  I knew she wasn’t going to judge me for it.  I knew that if I were a lifeless bum… it’d be okay.  Because she was completely aware I’d bounce back better than ever the next day.  I dunno, what is there to say about a girl you love?  Well… there’s a lot you could say.  But what do you say about a girl who has slipped into your life and then become the most important part of it?  I always said I’d choose music over love.  Even with my girlfriend of a year and four months back in 8th grade/freshman year, when I was asked that question… I thought hard… but I said “Music.”  But now if someone said, “Okay, lifetime with Harriet… or a lifetime with music… which one?”  I’d have to choose the former.  And I guess that says just about all I need to say concerning her… because if you know anything about me, you know that my choice from the proposed question says all I could ever need to say about my love for her.

But yeah… important people in my life.  Allen. Glenn. Those are my two bestest friends, no doubt.  Runner-ups are John, Tim, Chris, and Judd.  I really do wish I saw more of Tim, Chris, and Judd because I know if I did, we’d all be the bestest of friendses.  Oh!  And I always forget about Joan… and Vicky.  Those two are very dear to me as well.  Let’s go through a long-ass analysis of every person, shall we?
Allen- Man.  What to say.  I love this man.  I’ve been finding myself lately calling him just to chat.  I don’t do that with anyone. I do it because I don’t see him enough… and I figure if I can at least just call and hear how he’s doing or whatever, that can be enough until I see him.  He’s my big brother.  That also says all I could have to say about my love for him.
Glenn- I really do adore Glenn.  We’ve got a fantastic relationship that is very close yet oddly distant.  And it’s only as distant as I allow it to be… I don’t know much about his past.  We’ve only ever focused on who we are now.  Which is fine!  But it’s just a fact… those really closest to me are people I know practically inside and out (or so it seems, sometimes).  The only thing keeping Glenn and I from being the greatest friends ever (from my perspective at least) is that I should really just… hang with him.  We’ve had a very goal oriented friendship lately with AD and such… but I suppose that is something no one else can have with him.  So I’m still honored to be someone he makes music with.
Judd- I feel that Judd and I could be absolute best friends if we hung out more.  It’s just too hard to do so with both our schedules/I dunno, the idea of just calling him outta the blue seems so weird since besides Appastar, our worlds aren’t connected in the slightest way. 
Tim & Chris- Both of these guys are so rad.  And what I have to say applies to both… so I just lumped ‘em together.  I have to say that I know these guys could be my absolute best friends too if I just saw them more! Hah.  Granted, they are on this list of people, so they’re still very very special to me.  Although, in a crisis and I needed a best friend, I’d call someone like Glenn or Allen first, y’know?  I still got a lot of love for these fellows.
Joan- All I have to say is I wish I saw more of this girl.  We get along so well.  That’s really all there is to it.  We’re both very similar and that’s where our friendship soars.  Love this girl, too.
Vicky- She’s so self-less… every time we talk it’s “How are you?” “Tell me about EVERYTHING.”  I never hear about her because she’s so intent on hearing what I have to say.  She really just supports me so much with everything.  If I have an idea about sometihng I wanna do… she says “Go for it!”  If I’m feeling down she says, “I feel the same way.  Why are we the same person?” and in turn makes me smile.  Lover her, I do.
John- I dunno.  Things seem to be interesting with John lately.  I don’t feel like commenting.  We’re as good of friends as ever… but something feels off.

So of course there’s still plenty more people in my life… but those are the ones who mean the most.  The absolute most.

but okay, I’m really hungry.
Maybe I’ll post part 2 tomorrow?  We still gotta discuss work.  school.  writing.  japan.  Hmm… quite a bit more.