Homes for Butterflies

Alright!  So.  This’ll be my last blog for a while.  The free time I’ve been having for the past few days definitely escapes me from now until at least next Sunday.  I’ve got homework and projects galore mixed in with an acoustic gig, an anime night with some kids from Japanese class, and of course my usual galavanting to attend to.  I’m basically writing right now because there are two things intensely on my mind: the Window Theatre’s live performance from Friday and Serendipity.  So while I listen to Nujabes on this cold, rainy Tuesday morning, allow me to let my thoughts unfold in an effortless, rather inspired manner.

Last night my dad came by and dropped off the live performance from our show at the Rave on Friday.  Of course I hustled over to Erik and Joe’s to watch it and here’s what we came away with:

The negatives.  Joe definitely needs to work on his vocals.  It’s not all bad- most of it’s great!  But there are definitely some parts where you know he can do better and we’re encouraging him nicely to improve.  He complains about “not being able to hear himself,” but Erik and I just told him, “Look, get over it.  A lot of shows are going to be that way.”  Then we all agreed our show is a little boring- I definitely rocked out the most, but I could stand to be a little more energetic.  But Erik and Joe definitely need to be more energetic.  Erik noticed right away in himself that he was lame on stage.  Other than that though?  The show was a blazing success.

We never messed up once musically; it all sounded incredibly good; now we’re just waiting for the chance to play again so we can really, really prove what we’re made of.  The one thing that made me so happy was how I failed to mess up once.  I was tight the entire show and hit everything the right way.  I really did give Erik and Joe the most perfect backbone they could ask for.  And that’s what makes me so excited- it was absolutely apparent that I’m giving this band all I’ve got- in just about every situation that comes my way in life I give it all the effort I’ve got and it makes me so happy that I do.  I’m not the kind of person that says, “Yeah, I definitely put my heart into everything,” and can’t deliver.  When I make a claim I always stick to it and how I performed at our “first” gig proves that so well.  Our cover of the District Sleeps Alone Tonight was so hot.  I really did come up with an amazing drumline and even Erik was like, “Dude, that is SO awesome, it sounds SO good.”  Hearing my work praised like that by the guys who get to hear it at every single practice felt really good.  In fact, while we talked about Joe and Erik needing to improve on stuff, the two of them had nothing to say about me.  

I’m not the most confident drummer.  I don’t feel like I’m the best drummer for Erik and Joe in terms of skill- no way.  I’m still a beginner, by and large, I feel.  I did only start playing less than two years ago.  But I really, really WANT to be an amazing drummer.  I really am doing all that I can to improve my skills and practice as much as I can- whether it’s sitting in my dorm air-drumming to a complicated song, trying to figure out its drum parts or I’m sitting behind my kit and going over a single part of a song over and over trying to write the most perfect beat.  It always feels good to be so invested in something.

But okay… now onto Serendipity!

I really can’t tell you the last movie that ever made me react so intensely.  Everything about the movie just hit home and made me feel so much.  I’ll admit- the beginning was kinda lame.  You were supposed to believe that these two characters (John Cusack and Kate Beckinsdale) had an “amazing night” and were totes “destined for each other”… but I dunno.  The director definitely didn’t capture that properly for me.  I didn’t believe in the spark they apparently had.  But after that the movie just hit on all the right notes.

The main message of the movie came out when Jeremy Piven’s character gives John Cusack a lecture on the airplane.  Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea- there’s always going to be plenty of people worth dating, and even plenty of people worth marrying.  But how many people are PERFECT for you?  How many people are through and through everything you want and need?  Not many…  Sometimes only one person is.  And the movie brings home the idea that yeah, you can make it through life pretty successfully and happily, but you can’t be totally fulfilled and complete until you find that perfect someone.  And when you do?  You do not let that person go for anything. (Ah-hah! We see the reasoning behind last night’s blog now!)  You fight for it and… well… you give it ALL you’ve got and you take risks, and you let yourself be terribly vulnerable.  But in the end?  It’s worth everything you’ve invested into it.  

That’s the main theme of Serendipity and I loved it.  It made me so happy and there’s even a moment at the end where I just let out a huge “awwww!!” and threw my face into a pillow while smiling.  I wanted to text Harriet so badly when I was done, just telling her I love you… but instead updated my Twitter knowing I need to be quiet.  But still.  My heart was overflowing with goodness and I let the text go out to her anyways.  Sure, I didn’t get a response back. I wasn’t expecting to!  But I hope it made her smile nonetheless and filled her heart with some goodness.  

Something Serendipity made me realize was how much I miss ROMANCE in my life.  Without Harriet there’s no romance in my life (obbbviously)… and watching Serendipity made me happier than I have been in a long time.  Okay, yeah, I’ve been having a blast with friends, and loving the music I’m playing, and even enjoying immensely the fact that I’m doing so well in school!  But the kind of joy that a good romance brings into one’s life is far different than all those other things.  And I didn’t realize how much I missed a good love story (whether it was hearing one or being apart of one) until Serendipity left me smiling hugely from ear to ear.  So I definitely think I wanna go watch another romance flick soon enough here… They make me feel really good.

Big City Lights by Shing02 just came on the ‘ol iTunes.  It’s been a very long time since I’ve listened to this good jam.  

So alright.  I said what I wanted to say.  I think I’m gonna go do some homework now.