Just an updateizzle.

What to say, what to say.  It’s 2:08AM.  Been going to bed around 3 as of late and it MUST STOP.  I’m getting way too tired in the day and my bed here just isn’t comfortable enough so as to allow me to rest up properly.  Every day pretty recently I’ve been having blood-shot eyes by around 8:30, 9PM.  I swore the other day that I’d be going to bed so much earlier, but awesome-ass things just keep emerging and I’m engaged until the super early morning hours.  Tonight’s distraction away from sleep was Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure blogs, forums, Facebook statuses, and Twitters are all a-buzz with MW2 updates.  But shit.  It really is a cultural phenomenon within the gaming world.  Jon told me that 5 million people bought it at its LAUNCH at MIDNIGHT.  5 million people in the U.S. lined up for it.  Ain’t that crazy?  Let’s do the math on that.

$59.99 x 5,000,000 = $299,950,000.  Yeah.  This game is equally making over $300 mil.  Isn’t that crazy to think about?  Just on the FIRST MORNING it amassed $300 mil.  To date, Men In Black, the movie, has made less than $600 million.  Movies are universal enjoyment… video games are definitely a niche.  To me that’s pretty stellar.  Like, just imagine that kinda success.  I know my name isn’t attributed to anything jaw-dropping.  I mean, I’ve had some poetry published… and I’ve had my music on the radio twice… but whatever.  Nothing worth writing home about… yet.

Definitely this past week I’ve been seeing myself in a different light musically.  It pretty much all started Monday with my performance of One More Time at Kafein.  My stage antics still suck and I can’t talk to an audience worth a damn… but I still killed that song and Joe was definitely singing it long after I was done playing.  His words at the Harrison stop were, “Dammit!  That song is so catchy!”  You’re damn right its. :)  And then yesterday at band practice with Brett and Shawn, I had Brett saying multiple times, “I swear dude, I feel like I could cry- you’re amazing!”.  And jamming last night with Joe at 1 in the morning?  Yeah.  I came up with some super sick stuff on drums.  Oh!  And back up a bit, I believe I had Paul grinning from ear to ear when he heard the drums I wanted to add to his new songs for the Stellanecks.  Just… fuck yeah.  I’m in a very good place musically, and now that I’m taking the time as of late to really practice my instruments, I’m starting to feel very, very accomplished.

Speaking of Paul, I met with him last night to discuss what’s going to be happening with his band the Stellanecks and the recording of their album, “Sweep the Sky.”  It was a really good brainstorming session and the one thing I loved most was his comment about me.  I forgot why he said this to Dom (the other member), but Paul’s words were, “Dude, I know Mort.  He’s gonna give us all he’s got and work harder for us than anyone else possible, just busting his balls to get us the best album we can.”  It was really endearing to know that that’s how he views me.  Lately I’ve been feeling kinda lame in terms of my success, but I really feel like it’s just been due to a lack of inspiration.  Nothing has been inspiring me as of late.  All my fuel used to come from Harriet’s love.  It just got me going like crazy.  And without it I need to find some sort of new muse.  The last album I heard that got me amped was This Will Be the Death of Us by Set Your Goals.  While Raditude, Armistice, and even Lost In Suburbia have been super sick albums that I’m a huge fan of… they haven’t inspired me.  And shit.  It’s been forever since I’ve seen a movie or an anime that really got my creative juices pumping.  I’ve exhausted a lot of good art this past year… it’s safe to say I’m in a dryspell and just need to let this drought happen.

So what exactly AM I doing creatively these days? I’m playing in Brett Cooper’s band on bass, I’m reading/playing through a Motown Bass Charts book, I’m playing for the Window Theatre, I’ll be recording the Stellanecks, I’m reading The Gunseller by Hugh Laurie, I’m trying to write blogs about zen teachings, and I’ll be devoting a lot of time very soon to experimenting with Pro Tools 7 LE.  Word up.

Right now I’m listening to the music from Samurai Champloo.  Such good music… such a great anime.  I miss those days where I had so much new/good anime to consume.  I’m at that point in my life where it’s very difficult to find a new anime because it seems I’ve watched all the good ones.  I think the last show I watched that was great was like… Magikano.  And that was last semester.  Sad day!  I haven’t even watched a Japanese film in forever.  Been meaning to watch My Neighbors the Yamadas and 9 Souls with Harriet.  Hopefully that’ll still happen.  But I wanna watch something I haven’t SEEN.  I tried watching this documentary on Akihabara, but it was just such a shoddy production that I didn’t have to determination to sit through it.  Twas cool… nothing more.

However, tonight I started watching this fucked up movie called SALO (or, the 120 Days of Sodom).  I really don’t care for it, but the stuff happening on screen is so interesting and depraved that I can’t bring myself to turn it off.  Basically, it’s this true story (I think- otherwise there’s no way a plotline of this caliber would make it onto the Criterion Collection) about how these boys and girls were captured and taken away to a private Italian Villa where these fascist leaders set up a type of sexual retreat where they were allowed to do whatever they pleased to the kids.  And basically it’s a TON of homosexual sodomy occurring randomly and usually painfully.  It’s not exactly cringe-worthy… but it is most definitely one of those movies that’ll have you saying, “What the fuck?” quite a bit.  I dunno.  Do I recommend it?  Nah.  But if you’re looking for something controversial and something that’s gonna stomp, jump, and destroy a bunch of taboos- then Salo’s your movie.

Yeah.  p.s.- it’s been a while since I’ve seen a great movie.  Anti Christ is totally one of the best movies of the year/potentially one of my all-time faves- but it was just so insane that I feel like I didn’t enjoy it WHILE I was there.  It’s one of those movies that yes- if I think about it, it’s a beautifully haunting film.  But I have a hard time admitting that it was so good just because of the subject matter.  Haha… I really do want to see it again so badly- that imagery is STILL stuck with me.  But at the same time, the movie is exhausting to sit through.  Part of me doesn’t know if I can have the strength to endure it’s brief hour and a half runtime again.  Fantastic Mr. Fox and 2012 are out.  I really want to see those.  Fantastic Mr. Fox is reviewing incredibly well and 2012 just looks like an onslaught of mindless fun.  Saw Donna today- she said This Is It is phenomenal and Kirby said the same, so you know me and the Duemigs will be making a trip to the theatre for that one.

Anyways, this has been a pretty lame blog and I’m super tired, so I should just grab some shuteye.  But… even though I find these types of blogs “stupid” nowadays… I really should do them more often.  I’m going to kick myself so hard when I have basically all of my highschool career documented here through my WordPress blogs, yet none of my collegiate career.  Granted, there’s been a lot going on that I really have purposefully chosen to neglect writing about.  But I can’t keep doing that.  Life is filled with joy, sadness, triumphs, defeat- I need to capture that all.

Goodnight, then.

p.s.- Chris wrote me today saying how badly he wants to just be able to hang with me 2 to 3 times a week, chilling out and just talking with some good music on in the background.  There’s a man I wish more than anything that I could do the same with.  Fuck that ocean that separates us.  Haha.. and I have to include that the kid has no problem admitting he wants so badly to be related to me.  Now that’s raditude.

The High-dive.

Something big is coming. I’m too tortured, too inspired, too hurt, too passionate, too driven, too stifled, too dreamy, and too creative to not make something extraordinary.

I Am Taller Than a Mountain

I’ve got about 10 minutes to kill before I leave for Sensaphonics with Joe and Erik… so I figured I’d write!  Yeah, yeah, I get that I’m writing a ridiculous amount.  But fuck- it’s fun for me!  I love just listening to music and letting my thoughts ramble.  Blogging IS a hobby for me.

It’s pretty much official, April 24th the Window Theatre will be performing with New Found Glory and the next day we’ll be here at the UC playing at a Battle of the Bands!  It’d be nice to a) make some profit from the tickets on NFG and also b) win the $250 cash prize from the UC BOTB.  

I’ve got so much stuff to do today, but once it’s done and once I complete Tuesday, it’ll be smooth sailing from here on out.  I’ve really learned to discipline myself as far as working hard and I can most assuredly keep it going for the rest of the semester I feel.

Started looking into classes for next semester…  I’m going to be done with my Gen-eds so quickly!  I decided that I’m going to finish all my gen-eds then start doing my minor.  When I visit with Benj this week to talk about my path as a student here at Columbia, I’ll ask him about what classes to take as far as pursuing a career in opening my recording studio.  I’m feeling very confident about my academics.  I just hope I did as well on my BAS test as I think I did…

Totes listening to Make Believe by Weezer right now.  Such a great album when you’re in the mood for it.

Looked into seeing Pacific Overtures and I think I’ll definitely be seeing it sooner than later con mi papa y Gabi.

I’m dying to drum.  I’m so sad I didn’t get a chance to before leaving back to school. :-/  So you can bet I’m pumped as hell for Saturday!  I’m really excited to get recording again.  I’ve got my two new songs I’m definitely going to do plus maybe a re-make of Crystals?  Been wanting to do that for a while now…  At the same time, I don’t want to go back to the past.  I want to keep treading forward.

But okay- gotta go!  Need to change/fill out a work order for my bathroom/deliver some mail.

Tuesday the Something-th

I don’t even know where to begin.  My thoughts are so scrambled, so all over the place.  I am so exhausted right now.  My brain just wants to quit.  Physically I’m pretty darn well!  I’m ready to keep tackling stuff.  But my gosh, mentally, I am done for.  

Just spent almost six hours recording with Paul.  I really do bring out the best in him musically.  He teaches me quite a bit too- tonight I learned how to get mad feedback from my guitar and I experimented with my drum sound to realize how I should position my mics to get THE best sound possible.  Also, my drumming is so tight on his song Wavelengths- I’ve never had to really be TIGHT before.  I always kinda could just do my own thing because they were MY songs.  But now that I had to really put forth the effort and make something that fit someone else’s song perfectly with no exceptions, it was great practice.  

I’m meant to be a musician.  I’m meant to be a music producer.

I miss Harriet like crazy.  I always hate when my day comes to a close.  It’s when I realize the most that she’s not here.  It’s when I realize she’s not going to be in my bed waiting or she’s not going to come through the door.  Today she said she was feeling lonely.. so much so that she could just break down.  I didn’t know how to respond because… fuck.  I know that words aren’t what she wants.  She’ll appreciate me trying to do my best from such a distance, but I know all she needs is that hug.  It’s all good though.  I hope to cheer her up tonight when she calls if she’s still needing that cheering up.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a ballin’ day (as Paul would probably affectionately put it).  Gonna finish up recording! Yay!  I have to say… I’m pretty stoked.  I’m officially invested in making him sound amazing.  He takes my criticism well.  I don’t say things like, “Dude, that sucks,”… but if he records off rhythm or hits a wrong note, it’s okay with him if I say, “do it again.”  I feel like when I tell other people to “re-do” that… they feel insulted.  But I mean, that’s a part of recording- you’re going to fuck up.  I say “do it again” rather insensitively I guess, but I mean… it’s already so emotionally and mentally exhausting, I just don’t have the patience to always be like “Hey, could you do that again, please?”  And when screwing up happens more often than hitting the notes perfectly, I feel it’s okay for me to be absolutely matter of fact.

I need to go wash my face right now, but I’m just so tired!  I don’t want to move.  I don’t want to do a single thing.

Today really was a waste of a day though.  Can’t say I did much…  But it’s coolies.  I can feel tomorrow being a better day merely because I’ll have so much more energy.

Ouuuuch.  My head is killing.  It’s time I got some ibuprofein and just got ready for bed…  And then watch MAGIKANO!!!!  Great anime.  I’m digging it.

I have so much more I could say.. but I’ll just close the books on this one for now.

All I want is my, baby.  Well… scratch that partially.  I need her.  Life just doesn’t feel as amazing, colorful, or fulfilling.  It’s wonderful- don’t get me wrong!  I’d just be acting lame and weak if I didn’t make the most of every moment just because she’s not near.  But really…  I need her so much.

You and I got the same wavelengths.

Start of Winter Break

I’m bored… so let’s blog!  I suppose I do have quiiite the load to say.  So let’s say it!

First off: I really am not a fan of the internet anymore it seems.  I have no business on it, really.  I’ve grown so tired of Facebook; don’t have much reason to check myspace(s), and what websites do I go to?  Punkdisasters.com, explosm.net, and metacritic?  Hardly much to do there.  Of course, the internet is great when I need to know something (Metra, gamerankings.com, google?)… but the internet as a place to go for fun?  Eh.  It’s lost all its luster for me.  I don’t go on AIM… as I said, I don’t really use facebook or myspace, and I don’t play games or anything- the internet’s boring for me!  I’ve found myself pretty much not using my computer today.  It’s refreshing though: I’m glad I’ve got plenty of other sources of entertainment besides just sitting here at my computer day in and day out like a lot of people I know.

I really do love video games.  When I’ve got a good game to play, I can be very into it.  For instance: I’ve played a lot of Nocturne today and have supremely enjoyed myself.  I really do want to continue playing as well!  I got passed the Grim Reaper boss that had stopped me for soo long before.  And my gosh, I’m so eager to tear into Persona 4!  I’ve decided to sell my 360 or a PS3.  I really don’t like the xbox controller(s)… never have!  I don’t feel comfortable with them.  Like, I have no pressing urge to get Mirror’s Edge or Dead Space or Fable II or anything awesome for 360 because I just… can’t get into my 360!  I gave up on Gears of War 2 really quickly… bought three games not too long ago that hardly got played either.  And after I started playing my PS2 again, I realized just how much I feel more comfortable with that controller…  It’s a weird personal preference I don’t expect anyone else to really feel, but whatever.  When Brian brought over Little Big Planet?  I got so into that SO quickly!  That has never happened with a 360 game…  And I’m stillll playing PS2 games and loving them.  So I guess I am slightly devoted to Sony?

Today I pretty much recorded the best song ever.  It’s called Surrender Your Love… and it truly is better than I ever could have imagined it to be.  When I first wrote the song I just knew it was special.  The chords were just resonating so deeply with me and when I wrote the bridge (which is this crazy optimistic, ethereal sounding delay part), I could feel the energy ready to be set free.  Then tonight I finally put it all together after having the song written for probably close to two months.  It really is my greatest musical feat.  Well… it’s a complex feat.  It can still be argued that pop tunes like One More Time and Crystals are better… but this is just the most epic/insane/evocative work I’ve ever done.  This is mixed wonderfully- has so much going on- HAS the pop hooks- great lyrics- just EVERYTHING.  It has it all.  It’s my greatest mix of super complexisms, plus poppyness, plus shear musical talent.  The song goes places I didn’t know I was capable of going in as a musician/writer.  I keep raving about it to Harriet and I’m sure she’s tired of hearing about it because all I’m giving her are stupid WORDS.  I refuse to show her until it’s COMPLETELY done… it’s THAT good!  It needs to be finished.  I’m not going to give it to her half-completed.  BEcause like, if I show it to her now… she’ll get the main idea and such… but then when I DO finish it… and she hears it completed, all that’s gonna be different are added vocals and it’ll just kinda be like “Eh… I’ve really already heard this.”

I feel weird without Harriet.  It’s hard having really good days when she’s not here… because it’s like, I just then want to BE with her.  There’s nothing else I want more than to be with her and when a day has gone so freaking well, of course all I can think about is hanging out with my lover.  When we talked tonight I really didn’t have much to say because it’s like… I don’t wanna talk to her.  I want to BE with her.  And too, really, I didn’t have all that much to say… I played a really awesome video game today and progressed, ate a great lunch, recorded an amazing song (that ate up my whole day basically)… there’s not much detail to share, yknow?  I told her all that there was to tell and found myself met with a lot of empty space.  It’s not a problem- not EVERY conversation can be filled to the brim with excitement (seeing as we have been texting all day)…  but there is one problem: I’m dying to be with her.  Being sick has been really hard.  I just get so needy when I’m sick, I feel so physically drained, and all I’ve been able to do is lie in bed and wish my baby were there to hold me and take care of me.  Now that I’m getting better and have had an amazing day, I really am just like, “WHERE IS SHE?!”

I just took some theraflu… will hopefully be asleep decently soon… but I gotta say… Nocturne is sounding GREAT.  So I think I’m gonna get on top of that.

I think we’ll be seeing a lot more blogs from me over break… but don’t get your hopes up, odds are I’ll say that now and totally not write a single thing more.  I am gonna be busy over break!  So I mean… that’s another blog in itself: talking about my winter break plans…  So we’ll see.  

kk, bye bye

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