Homes for Butterflies

Alright, here it is. My final blog for a long time. I’m not interested in documenting my summer- I’m interested in living it. One thing I realized yesterday was how jampacked every day is that I have. When I got home from a day with Harriet I kinda stood around for a few minutes thinking, “Wow, I feel like I did nothing today…” But then when I went back and thought about it, her and I accomplished so much: we went joyriding with all the windows down, we went to Maxwell’s, we went to an Asian market and bought vanilla mochi, we went to a park and got ice cream all over each other and wrote a card, then went for a walk, then sat on the nicest bench with the greatest view ever while the wind blew sweetly around us, then we went to a grad party where we were the center of attention a lot of the time and where I met a kid named luke, and dominated in volleyball with a guy named Dan, and then we went to Dave’s grad party where we attempted to solve dj’s love problems and we yet again were pretty much at the center of things. That was what we did from 12:45-8:05. In less than 8 hours all that got accomplished. Yet when I got home I’d like, forgotten all that happened, because it all just meshed together. All I could really comprehend was that I had a great day. And that’s how every day is with her. I don’t realize how amazing it is until I get the chance to sit down and think about it… because there’s so much! And instead of rationalizing all I do and sorting it all out with a blog, I’m just gonna say fuck it and keep living life.

Summer officially starts today after graduation. I’m not very interested in going and I’m actually gonna talk my parents out of taking me to the White Chocolate Grill, cuz I’d honestly rather go to Red Robin. I’m just not interested in luxurious things. With electronics? Yeah. I like the best of the best. But that’s the only thing I enjoy spending money on. I actually hate spending a lot of money on food: I just enjoy paying for quality food… not mcdonald’s and shit. But the White Chocolate Grill is one of those places that is just overly expensive and I have no interest in that. I don’t have an interest in expensive clothes. I don’t see the point in expensive furniture. I won’t buy expensive music cds or dvds. But hey, back to my point about not wanting to go to graduation or dinner: I’ve got no desire in all these formal gatherings. More than anything I’d rather just go off and do something with Harriet. We haven’t made love in two days: that’d be fun. We haven’t just sat back and relaxed since Tuesday, that’d be fun too. Bah, I just want to be with her. Friday was the perfect day: I got to hang with Appastar AND have Harriet by my side AND play a show.

I don’t usually like doing things with other people. I only want to be with Harriet. But that’s because I guess I really have no interest in hanging with the people from Benet. The only person I enjoy being with immensely is Glenn and he’s never available for me. But like, I have no problem spending a day with Appastar- Allen, Tim, Chris, and Zeph. I don’t feel like I’m being cheated out of not seeing Harriet: I feel like I’m having a fantastic time and Harriet is given a chance to do whatever she wants to do. Granted, I always want her with me… so that’s what’s great about appastar: they’re all cool that she joins up with us anyways! Then I love hanging with Will: but he’s so hard to get a hold of. But yeah. Graduating from benet: guess it doesn’t mean too much to me because… no one there means that much. I’ve got some great friends and they’ve helped get me through one or all of the years at Benet… but I never made any truly lasting relationships. When I hear the phrase “lasting friendship” I think of two people: Glenn and Joan. I just don’t know about anyone else.

I’m not sure if I want to go to columbia anymore. I was so excited about it until two things happen: a) I fell so deeply in love with Harriet and b) appastar became whole. Now I’d give anything to jsut play music and be with Harriet down in new orleans. But hey. Whatever, can’t have everything. Or… can i?

I’m done writing.